Not Quite a Capsule, but Still Pretty Small: My Wardrobe

I’ve been reading a lot lately about capsule wardrobes. And I honestly have no idea why this idea even appeals to me, because I’m the type of person who when I have plans with a friend, I try and think of the last time I saw him or her, and then try to remember what I was wearing so I can be sure not to wear the same thing.

That said, I honestly don’t have that many clothes. I take up one side of a walk-in closet with my wardrobe. I counted my items one day, and while there were some things in the laundry, I came up with 116 pieces of clothing. If one was to do a Project 333 wardrobe, you’d end up with 132 items (right? That’s 33 items every 3 months? Or do you keep some items from season to season?) Of course, my number wasn’t counting shoes or jewelry. Anyway, my main point is that I have a medium sized wardrobe that over the two years I’ve really been trying to edit down to only the pieces that I truly love. I have all but stopped buying clothes in retail stores (aside from my recent “emergency” Target trip to get something to wear to a bachelorette party). The way I have been shopping lately is via a personal shopper through my favorite thrift store. My shopper knows my sizes and style, and picks things for me to try on at our session, which I have done four times now. I have gotten some incredible deals (a $425 purse for $40 that I adore and carry daily) and I now try to purchase higher end brands that last longer than my previous wardrobe of mostly Target and Old Navy stuff.

Still, I think my wardrobe could still be edited down more. At this point, I’m not really trying to save space because my clothes don’t take up that much space, and I’m not trying to save money, because I feel like I’m already doing that via thrifting. But I’d like a simpler morning routine. I’d like to get up and just select something and know it’s going to look good and fit well and match. I sometimes stand in my closet unsure of what to wear, and then get frustrated at the time and energy I’m wasting. I’m suffering from choice fatigue.

So, I have a few options. One is to create a smaller capsule wardrobe for each season with my existing clothing. I’ve thought it might be useful to reorganize my closet into sections for the seasons. I wouldn’t see the need to take out everything but the current season’s clothing when my clothes currently fit on my hanging bar. I’d be creating a storage problem when there isn’t one! But right now everything is all mixed up, and my cotton skirts are hanging next to sweater dresses, and that just doesn’t make a lot of sense. My other option is to just continue to edit things out until I only have items I truly love. Really, the best option is to do a bit of both. There is some chaff in my closet right now that could use separating, but the organization of the closet could also use some help. I might also go back to planning a week’s worth of outfits on Sunday night. The time I’d spend up front would save me a lot of time in the morning.

I will keep you updated (and maybe snap some photos of my current set up) and let you see how my closet evolves!

July Monthly Goals

Time to set my July monthly goals. I really want to make these happen, so I think I’ll set fewer this month.

*Declutter a cabinet in our bedroom. Turn it into a craft, art supply, computer cabinet. I want to be one of those people who always knows where the paper and string are. Right now we have some kid’s art stuff in the kitchen, sewing stuff in the master closet, and computer paper and CDs and such all over the place. I thought it would be nice to have one dedicated space to this kind of thing, and the cabinet that currently houses playing cards, pens, and a bunch of books from college seems like a good place.

*Remodel our bathroom! We had a contractor come out and take measurements, and we’re holding our breath waiting for the estimate to come back. In order to either sell or rent out our condo, we need to address the shower. It cannot be sold or rented in its current condition: there are tiles falling down, the shower base is so dirty and cannot get clean (believe me, I have tried). I’m excited we’re finally making steps toward making this happen.

*Declutter our garage. In the summer we don’t park in there because we can’t with the bike and bike trailer being down. But right now, I feel like we can barely walk in there.

*Continue simplifying and saying “no” as much as possible. That includes saying “no” to our kids sometimes when they want to get fast food for lunch or have ice cream after playing in the park.

June Goal Recap

Well, here it is, July 8, and I haven’t posted in a really long time! I’m going to update how June went and create my July goals.

* Automate our weekly daycare payment to go into savings instead. I will set up our bank account to withdraw the same amount weekly that we pay to daycare. If we stick to it, we’ll save a big chunk of change this summer!

We did awesome at this. Our weekly daycare payment is going into savings automatically, and I have barely noticed. We ended up purchasing a new computer in June because our laptop broke, and seeing as though I work from home one day per week and M works from home full-time, we needed to replace it. However, we paid cash and the daycare payment replenished our savings in no time, which felt fantastic!

* Find free and cheap things to put on our “summer bucket list.” One of my ideas is to visit every park in our school district. The kids love exploring new areas, and who knows, maybe one of these parks will become our new neighborhood next year!

We’ve been doing pretty well at this, but we could do better. Our problem tends to be we’ll be out doing something for free, and then we hit meal time and end up grabbing something out. A really fun beach trip ended up costing $50 in lunch the other day. We need to pack more picnics, or stay close enough to home that we can go home for lunch or dinner.

* Quiet our master bedroom. I didn’t do this last month, but I really want to focus on making our master bedroom a decluttered, minimal haven for us to relax.

Ugh, still working on this. I quieted the space somewhat by taking out all the tchotchkes and framed photos off the surfaces. But I want to take the next step and work on a cabinet that right now just holds a bunch of junk, and then make a few tweaks to make it cleaner, more minimal, and relaxing.

* Take care of the school’s community garden. One thing we adore about our neighborhood is my eldest’s school. We are participating in the community garden this year, and have signed up for a week in late June to be in charge. I look forward to digging in the dirt, enjoying fresh vegetables, and being part of the community.

We had our week of being in charge, and it was great! I enjoyed weeding and watering and having something to check on and dote on for the week. We’ve gotten a ton of lettuce from the garden, and last night I also picked some kale, a zucchini, and chives.

* Better anticipate “extras” in our budget, particularly presents and outings. We do have some wedding showers and birthday parties to attend in June, and I need to better incorporate these expenses into our budget. For some reason they always sneak up on me, and they really shouldn’t. I also want to make sure we are as frugal as possible when it comes to these expenses. For the wedding I am in in July, I plan to get my dress altered by someone I know who is extremely affordable, wear shoes I already have, and wear clothing I already have to all the other events instead of buying new outfits.

I did pretty well at this goal. For those events in June, I built the presents into the budget, and that really helped. It was nice that those things weren’t a “surprise” that threw us off track, but something that we had planned for. I tried on the shoes for the July wedding and none of them fit well (my feet have seriously gone up a size since having my kids!), but I scored a pair of better fitting shoes in the color the bride specified from a thrift store for only $3! I wore an outfit I already had to the shower and felt great. However, I could not find anything I liked for the bachelorette party, which was on a lake cruise and then out to bars. My wardrobe is heavily weighted toward professional work clothing and not so much on the girl’s night out clothing. I ended up driving to Target an hour before I had to leave and buying a new top there. Not a great moment for the budget or my simplification plan. However, I really like the top I purchased and will wear it again. And that moment has made me think a little bit more about the idea of creating a capsule wardrobe, which I will explore in a later post.

* Say “no” more. If it doesn’t fit into the budget, if it makes our schedule untenable, or it just doesn’t fit with our values of living a slower, simpler life, I will say no.

I think we did OK at this one. We both said no a couple of times last week when friends wanted to go out, but we already had plans on the books for later in the week. We tried to strike a balance between being with friends and spending money. I don’t think we totally accomplished it, because there were many days that were far too busy. But we tried to be more mindful of our schedule getting too overloaded.

* Dent the credit card debt. We saved a lot of money last month, but didn’t pay down any debt. My goal for this year is to do both simultaneously, so I have will make this a higher priority in June.

We did this a little bit. We paid a couple of small balances. I hope to do more later on, though.

THINK

It's hard when you're feeling pretty good about something, and someone takes the wind out of your sails. It happened to me at work a couple of weeks ago, and then happened again in a situation relating to our home and social life. A friend is working with a contractor who has worked on our condo development, who told her some gossipy details and "horror stories" that made it seem like we need to move pronto. Honestly, I hated hearing it, because the way the condo board handles the shared spaces of the building is outside of my control. And it felt like an exaggeration too. I'm not burying my head in the sand; there are definitely some problems with the buildings, particularly one of them. But the building not being "promising" was just a weird thing for this person to say, and honestly, for my friend to relay to us.

I've heard an awesome saying recently that has totally influenced the way I deal with people. It says to stop and THINK: is this True? Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? And is it Kind? If  not, chances are, you probably shouldn't say it.

This guideline made me question a lot of the things I read online. I just don't get the same schadenfreude judgy pleasure from reading snark boards as I once did. Mostly they just seem kind of mean now, certainly not necessary or kind. And I'm having trouble gossiping with friends, or discussing work situations with coworkers now too. Am I just getting old? I just feel more empathetic these days to other people's situations, and am realizing that the way people live their lives must be right for them, even if I might make another choice.

I feel good about these changes in myself, but I admit that I still don't have a very thick skin myself when it comes to the judgment of others. I guess that's something I still need to work on.

June Monthly Goals

June is always a time of readjustment for our family. We go from being a two working parent family to having M at home with the kids full-time. We don’t pay for daycare over the summer, which is fabulous, but we also have a big change in our schedule and routine. Because May was so busy, and our July is going to be extraordinarily busy with a wedding and a work conference back-to-back, I plan to make June all about rest, relaxation, and simplification. Here are our goals for June:

* Automate our weekly daycare payment to go into savings instead. I will set up our bank account to withdraw the same amount weekly that we pay to daycare. If we stick to it, we’ll save a big chunk of change this summer!

* Find free and cheap things to put on our “summer bucket list.” One of my ideas is to visit every park in our school district. The kids love exploring new areas, and who knows, maybe one of these parks will become our new neighborhood next year!

* Quiet our master bedroom. I didn’t do this last month, but I really want to focus on making our master bedroom a decluttered, minimal haven for us to relax.

* Take care of the school’s community garden. One thing we adore about our neighborhood is my eldest’s school. We are participating in the community garden this year, and have signed up for a week in late June to be in charge. I look forward to digging in the dirt, enjoying fresh vegetables, and being part of the community.

* Better anticipate “extras” in our budget, particularly presents and outings. We do have some wedding showers and birthday parties to attend in June, and I need to better incorporate these expenses into our budget. For some reason they always sneak up on me, and they really shouldn’t. I also want to make sure we are as frugal as possible when it comes to these expenses. For the wedding I am in in July, I plan to get my dress altered by someone I know who is extremely affordable, wear shoes I already have, and wear clothing I already have to all the other events instead of buying new outfits.

* Say “no” more. If it doesn’t fit into the budget, if it makes our schedule untenable, or it just doesn’t fit with our values of living a slower, simpler life, I will say no.

* Dent the credit card debt. We saved a lot of money last month, but didn’t pay down any debt. My goal for this year is to do both simultaneously, so I have will make this a higher priority in June. 

May Monthly Recap

I can’t believe May is already almost over! It has flown by, particularly because this time of year is so busy with birthdays, holidays, end-of-year school stuff, and work deadlines.

Each month I will go through how I did on the goals I set at the beginning of the month. If I don’t achieve a goal, I might move it to next month’s goals, which I will write about tomorrow.

My goals for May were:

* Up the amount we are saving monthly. I’ve already changed our automatic savings plan, and the first larger savings payment comes out today. Right now, we are 7.5% of the way to our down payment goal. It is NOT much. But I look forward to watching this number grow.

We did well with this one. By the end of the month we were 21% of the way to our goal, which is awesome! We made a lot more progress than I imagined we would. I upped the amount of money we were putting into savings bi-weekly, and we made a few large payments to the account as well.

* Stick to our budget and live within our means. This one is a bit vague, but this month, I am setting our goal to no eating out for the first two weeks of the month, and only eating out once per week after that until the end of May. I will also stay out of stores during lunch time by walking instead.

This goal was so-so. We only ate out once during the first two weeks in May, and generally cut back on eating out, but we also hosted three parties and had some birthdays, and didn’t budget very well for those expenses. Money was still tight at the end of each pay period.

* Talk to our condo association about the possibility of renting out our condo to family. They are very vague in the bylaws and the actions of the association on rentals. Basically, it is subject to approval. I want to know what our options will be next year. But I’m also really conflict adverse, and despite being on the board (I know!), I really don’t want to deal with the association. I might make M do this one.

We did not accomplish this goal. However, at our annual association meeting it became clear that at least one person is renting to family currently, and there have been others in the past. I think we have leverage, but we have not asked for approval yet.

* Look in to ways to earn extra income. M has a few freelance gigs going, and I am going to look into taking on a few writing jobs.

M has been freelancing still for extra cash, but I have not made any progress toward earning extra income.

* Declutter our master bedroom closet and “quiet” our master bedroom. I’ll go into this “quieting” business later, but basically as an early birthday present this year, I signed up and took the Nester’s Cozy Minimalist decorating course. I totally loved it, and we really made some nice changes to our living room as a result of the class. I loved it so much, I’m going to go through the same process with our master bedroom. I don’t want to fall into the trap of thinking that because we plan to move in “only” a year we shouldn’t work on our space. If we try to sell the condo, we will want it to be looking its best. And it’s always a good idea to pare things down before moving!

We started decluttering our master bedroom closet and under the bed. We haven’t done the official “quieting” yet, however. I just have been too busy right now.

* Host family and friends at our condo. In May we’ll be hosting a family dinner, my son’s 6^th birthday party, and an informal gathering of friends for a BBQ. This one should be fun and easy to achieve!

We did this, and it was wonderful! We made a lot of great memories in May in the condo!

So, we did the best in the two goals that mattered most – we saved more money than expected for the house, and we had a great time living in the condo. I found this process really encouraging, and am looking forward to setting my goals for June!

Goal Update - 20%!

I'm back with another goal update. M got a bonus at work, and the entire thing went to the house fund. We're really motivated right now to save, and it's exciting. We've honestly never been this good at saving in our entire lives, and I'm kind of giddy over the change in us. Making it 20% of the way to our goal in the first month we tackled this project is pretty darned good! I don't think we'll be able to maintain this pace through the whole year (we'd reach our goal 6 months early if we could!), but because we won't be paying daycare over the summer, I think we'll be making a lot of progress now, and probably less in the fall and winter.

So, time to fill in more on our floor plan! I want to keep up my excitement and momentum, so I filled in the big living room space. I also filled in the laundry room, because I'm kind of sick of our cramped one in the condo.

Deep Breaths

Our best friends are buying a house. They were just like us - a family stuck in a townhouse that was underwater. They bought in 2005, and truthfully, a lot of the reason I rushed to buy was because they had. I was envious of their townhouse, particularly because from 2005-2006 we lived in a terrible apartment with horrible neighbors, and we wanted O-U-T. We saw our friends enjoying their brand new townhouse, picking out paint colors, buying new furniture, and we wanted that too. So as soon as we could, we went and bought a place. And in hindsight, maybe we didn't think hard enough about that decision.

Now they are no longer underwater, and so are putting their townhome on the market and just had an offer accepted on a big, single family home. I'm totally thrilled for them - I know they really want this and have worked really hard to get here. Of course, I'm envious again too. They're getting to do something that I desperately want.

This time, though, I need to keep my head about me. We need to buy when the time is right for us. And right now, it's not. But in a year, it will be.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I really want, and the truth is, I do really want a house. While the condo has been great for us before we had children, and when our children were small, we need a little bit more room to stretch our legs now. We had a fantastic party for my birthday last weekend, and all my friends gathered at our house for pizza and beer. One thing that was tricky was that the kids wanted to play outside, so we ended up with a couple of parents outside in the front of the condo building watching the kids play, while everyone else was upstairs hanging out. It was fine, but I kept thinking of how much easier it would be if we could just open up the door and be in the back yard. Shlepping up and down the stairs to go hang out outside is getting kind of old.

I am learning that it's OK to want a house but still be content in the condo. These two things are not mutually exclusive. And I can still want a house while working toward a more simplified, minimalist lifestyle. I've been so drawn lately to the minimalist movement because it aligns so well with the life we're leading in the condo, and I've consequently started second-guessing whether moving next year makes sense for us. But I think it does. We'll still be able to have a simplified lifestyle, even if we do move into a larger, single family home. Simplicity is more about living intentionally, not buying things just to keep up with others, not working around the clock just so you can buy more things, etc. If we keep our values at the forefront when it comes time to shop for a house and buy something modest that will fit our needs, at a price that fits our budget, I think we will still be living simply. In fact, I hope it will be a way for us live even more simply - by being able to garden, by giving us more space that we will be more inclined to stay home instead of going out, etc.

I struggle a lot with the green-eyed monster, I know. But it's unproductive, and I know this too. I am countering my envious feelings by reminding myself of all I have to be grateful for in my own life, with sincere feelings of happiness for my friends, and by using it as motivation to work all that much harder toward my own goal.

But, it's hard. Deep breaths.

Goal Update - 10%

We're now 12% of the way toward our goal. We can now fill in another area on our floor plan goal tracker. I decided to "buy" the office today because my poor husband needs an office that is inside the house.

I don't think I've mentioned that M set up an office in our condo's storage room, located around the corner from our unit. It is a windowless little room, but it's actually been a decent way for him to get a private office space. And he can close it off and not think about work when he's not working, so it has some advantages. However, sometimes, when he's working late, I go to bed and forget he will need to get back into the house, and lock him out. Like I did last weekend. I found him dozing in his office chair at 3 am. Poor guy.

Friday Randoms

Hello there! I have not written much lately because life has been so busy. In fact, I ended up letting the kids stay home from school and daycare yesterday because they just seemed so out of sorts and tired. We're doing too much, and so I am doing what I can to scale back, although part of it is just powering through this very busy season. Still, I'm learning to recognize where me and the kids need downtime. We need days where we don't leave the house, where we stay in our jammies, watch movies, make spaceships out of cardboard boxes, and go to bed early.

I signed up for The Bloom over at Slow Your Home, mostly because I was so rejuvenated by the Cozy Minimalism course from the Nester, and I wanted to continue to make positive progress in our home. Cozy Minimalism was focused more on decorating, whereas so far, The Bloom's mini courses are more about decluttering and simplifying, but I've so far really enjoyed both.

The other night I decluttered the medicine cabinet and our kitchen utensil drawer. I also organized the kid's stuffed animals (I wish we could declutter those, but S is very opposed to donating any. I need to work on him).

I also got a carpet cleaning machine for my birthday and it is the best present ever! I used it last night and it's fantastic. The carpet looks like it was professionally cleaned. One thing that really stresses me out about our home is our wall-to-wall carpeting. I wish we had hardwood floors, but we live on the second floor, and while I don't think it's prohibited, it wouldn't be the best choice for a family with two rambunctious boys. Having a machine to keep them looking fresher is really going to be a game-changer for me when it comes to my happiness at home, I think.

We're still plugging away at the house savings, while still enjoying things in the condo. S's friend birthday party was an amazing amount of fun, and we even took the kids outside and had part of the party in the condo's side yard. It was lovely. And today I was telling some people about an event at the nature center across the street, and they said, "wow, that sounds like you live in a really cool place." And yeah, I kind of do!

What Do I Really Want?

I think I should probably make the goal of this year-long project to blog as often as humanly possible instead of every day. Because I completely forgot to blog yesterday! And with a very busy weekend ahead (S's birthday and Mother's Day), I probably will not blog again until Monday.

In any event, I've been listening to Brooke McAlary's Slow Your Home podcast lately, and it really has me stewing on several things. Basically, I think I really need to evaluate what it is I really want. So much of my desire for a house comes from feelings of inadequacy for living in a condo. If I am honest with myself, I  want to keep up with the Joneses. I tell myself that that's not true... that I don't want a huge house, just a house. And that I want a house for a multitude of reasons, not just because everyone else has one. But when it comes down to it, I often find myself thinking, "Once I have a house, then I will be happy." When really, true happiness comes from within.

It's not that I plan to abandon my goal of buying a house next year. However, I do plan to spend a little more time exploring what I really hope to achieve, and make sure that I'm doing this for the right reasons, and not just to please or keep with others. I really want to work on my inner happiness and find contentment right where I am. I think that's an important part of the process toward moving on. If I can't find happiness here, then there's a good chance that the house really won't make me happy.

Dreaming

I know that at the end of this year of saving up to buy a single family house, I’m not going to be buying a “dream home.” That phrase conjures images of huge, palatial mansions with soaring ceilings, beautiful windows, high-end finishes, a chef’s kitchen, and a lush, landscaped yard. Because we’ve been “stuck” in the condo for as long we have, my dream is pretty practical. I just want a backyard and a door that opens into my own space instead of a shared hallway. I’m not shooting for the stars here, hah!

On the other hand, one thing I’ve learned from the condo is that investing in real estate is never a sure thing. Therefore, I plan to be WAY pickier than I was the first time. I want to find something that we’d be comfortable living in for the rest of our lives, if necessary.

So, what are we looking for in a house, besides the obvious “it being a house” qualities? Here are a few of the things on my wish list.

• Lots of natural light. The condo is north facing and all the windows are on one side of the house. I want a cross breeze and some southern exposure.
• A fireplace. The condo has one and we love it, and it would be hard to get through a cold Minnesota winter without that cozy feeling you get from having a fire in the fireplace.
• A nice-sized backyard. It doesn’t have to be huge, but I want enough space for the kids to play, for us to grill, and to have a fire pit. I’d love for it to be fenced (although M does not care about this).
• At least three bedrooms. I’m sure some day the kids would like their own rooms. And it would probably be good to have space for an office as well.
• A basement. We go back and forth on this one, because basements kind of seem like a pain. On the other hand, our dream as 20-something newlyweds was to someday have a Pac-Man machine in our basement. And with two boys, having a basement seems like it will be key to keeping them and their friends happy when they become teens.
• A comfortable layout, maybe a ranch? We kind of dig living all on one level in the condo. It’s been a pretty awesome setup for having little kids. It’s meant a lot less baby proofing (we’ve never owned a baby gate!) and the kids are always in earshot. And since we really do want to find something that we could live in forever, ranch houses are nice because of the lack of stairs. I would like something with a little more breathing room and airiness than the condo, though, and sometimes ranches can be a little narrow.
• A big kitchen. The condo’s kitchen is awesome. I would hate to end up with something smaller, so I will definitely try to find a kitchen of comparable size.
• Close to where we live now. We really adore our neighborhood, and it would be great if we could find a single family home near where we’re at now. My son’s elementary school is fantastic, and so is the nature center. Even if we can’t find something on the same block we currently live, we will definitely be looking in the same town and at the very least, the same school district.
• A little space. We have a lot of amazing neighbors. But we are looking forward to a little more privacy someday. In particular, we would really like to not have to hear people cough or smell cigarette smoke when our windows are open.
• Absolutely no HOA. God. Our Home Owners Association isn’t even that bad, but I still cannot wait to not have to deal with annual association meetings and all the crabbiness that comes with them. I would never, ever buy a house with an HOA again.
• Hardwood floors. I am very sick of dealing with little kids and wall-to-wall carpet.
• A 2-car garage. It’s not even that we need the space of a 2-car garage, necessarily, it’s just that parking in a 1-car garage with kids is useless.
• A crab apple tree and a window seat. These are just two little dreams. I love flowering trees in the spring (I miss cherry blossoms from Northern California. They just smell like spring to me), and all my life I have wanted a window seat. My dream home might not come with these two things, but I hope to someday plant a little flowering tree that I can view from a cushy window seat. Ahh.
• Not very big. While big, brand new homes with two-story entries can be beautiful, they just aren’t for me. I really would like something small and manageable, maybe around 1500 square feet. Our 1200 condo just feels a bit too small for our family, but the thought of doubling our space just seems like too much for us. We like to keep things simple and strive for a somewhat minimalist lifestyle. We’re nowhere near as minimalist as some, but I’d say we have less stuff than the average American. 

It’s interesting–there are many things on my list from the condo that I’d like to find again in a house. And there are several things that I’ve learned don’t quite work for me and I want to try something different. It makes me think that once we find the house that’s perfect for us, we’ll look back on our time in the condo as an important part of our journey.

Visual Goal Tracker

Someone once suggested to me (OK, it was my therapist) that I should find a way to visually track my goal of saving for a down payment on a house. She thought maybe a cute way to motivate us to keep going would be to figure out how much we wanted to save, and then tie that amount to a drawing of a floor plan of a house. Then we could get excited when we saved enough money for a bathroom, for example. I loved this idea, but I took it way too seriously by 1) trying to find and draw by hand the floor plan to an actual realistic house we might buy, and then 2) trying to do the math by square footage rather than just room by room. I gave up in frustration and forgot about the idea.

But since keeping this daily blog, I realized it might be fun to resurrect this idea, so I can keep track of my goal. I’ve been updating you with percentages, and we are 8.6% of the way there currently. I found an image of a floor plan, and there are 20 different spaces in this fictional house. Thus, each space will represent being 5% of the way toward our down payment. So look, we’ve saved for our porch!

I thought I’d “buy” that first since we’ve never had a porch. I think I will leave the yard for last, though, because it’s my biggest reason for wanting a single family home in the first place, and maybe that will be extra motivating.

Hosting in a Small Space

I wrote this post in 2011 about hosting in a small space, and while much of it is still true, as our family has grown, it's getting harder and harder to still make our condo work for family gatherings. Last night we had our son's family birthday party (the friend birthday party is this weekend). We cleaned the house, made dessert, prepped everything for the enchiladas, and about an hour before the party was about to start we brought out the old dining room table. When we turned the formal dining room into a playroom, we stored our larger dining room table under our bed with the legs off. For parties, we bring it out and set it up in the playroom, although we haven't done so in a really long time. Yesterday we dragged it out, set it up, and realized there was no way we were going to get 12 people around that table. So we brought the kitchen table out to the dining room as well, and ate at one huge long table. It worked out fine, but anytime anyone needed to get through to get seconds or use the restroom, people had to scoot in or get up. And then having those huge tables set up meant that we had to cram into the small living room for S to open presents.

Everything was fine, and our family seemed like they had a great time. S was so happy, opening his presents and blowing out the candles (with help from his little brother, of course). I absolutely would rather cram everyone into our tiny house than not host a party, for sure. Even when it's tight and cramped, it's usually cozy and homey at the same time. And there's something about looking back on old photos of our sons' parties and seeing how our spaces have evolved. If this really is our last year in the condo, then that might very well be S's last birthday party in the condo, which makes me feel a little nostalgic and sad. And at the same time, though, I recognize that these kids of mine only grow bigger and taller with each passing year. Our extended family has grown since we bought the condo, too, through marriages, and I'm sure someday my boys will have some cousins as well. So while we can always find a way to make it work and host parties in a small space, I do look forward to someday having more space to host our family and friends.

We'll see how birthday party part 2 works out this weekend! There are going to be an awful lot of kindergartners coming over!

Day 3 - Goal Update

We’re hosting a family dinner for my son’s 6^th birthday later this evening, so today’s post will be brief. First off, how do I already have a 6-year-old? The time has flown by so quickly. It has me thinking about our time here at the condo. In a blink of an eye, we’ve been here 9 years. Part of the reason it has felt so quick, I’m sure, is because of having our sons. We’ve been half-heartedly toying with the idea of moving for the last three years or so. But the timing never seemed right. We had our second son, my husband spent some time unemployed, and we had several large expenses pop up such as major car repairs, car replacement, a new furnace, and a new water heater. Next thing we know, bam, it’s 3 years later and we haven’t made any real progress toward buying a single family home. 

Today we are 8.6% of the way toward our goal. We still have a long way to go, but it’s fun seeing the number go up! And it’s exciting to think that next year, we’ll host S’s 7^th birthday in our new home.

Cozy Minimalism

Day 2

As an early birthday present, I signed up to take the Nester’s Cozy Minimalism course. It was the name that drew me in. “Cozy” has always been my favorite word. My family uses it a lot, and it’s my ultimate goal for my house. But over the last couple of years, trying to make living in a 2 bedroom condo with two kids work, I’ve really been drawn to minimalism. I loved the idea of being able to marry the two concepts, and during one of the first classes, Myquillan said something to the effect of, “Minimalism doesn’t have to be cold and modern, and cozy doesn’t have to be cluttered.” I loved that!

I decided to makeover our living room for the class. It’s just never felt quite right to me, and I wanted to make small, inexpensive changes.

Our first task was to “quiet” our room, meaning take everything out. When I first heard that, I thought, no, I don’t have time for that, I’ll skip that part and move on to the next assignment. But by the end of the webinar I was convinced it would help, and I’m glad I did. As soon as I took everything out, I felt a physical lightness in the room. Seeing it empty helped me identify the three biggest changes I would make to our room – I finally painted our entertainment center, I moved out our ottoman and made over our old oak coffee table, and I rehung the artwork in a gallery-like cluster.

Here is the entertainment center before. It has always bugged me so much. Like, I would try and watch TV and be distracted by all the clutter.

Here is the entertainment center after. It looks so much calmer and holds (almost) the same amount of stuff.

I painted the laminate using the same Dutch Boy Cabinet and Trim paint we have used throughout the condo to paint our cabinets, trim, doors, and fireplace. It seems like it will hold up decently well (it probably won’t be as durable as on real wood, but we only plan to keep this unit until we move). I also replaced the hardware (the old pulls were plastic), and got baskets for the bottom to hide all the wires. I think that change made a really big impact, because it helped give the unit more presence while also looking less cluttered.

The other two big changes were the artwork and the coffee table. Once the room was quieted, I realized two things – our old coffee table might look really nice in here, but it’s an ugly orangey oak. And two, our artwork is too spaced out and hung too high. Here is the before.

And here’s the after!

I added a couple of paintings to the artwork grouping that we had in other spots, and made one new painting (the small square). The coffee table is my favorite though. I used Polyshades in a darker walnut color (I believe it was called Royal Chestnut) to make over the top. And then I painted the legs turquoise (I used Devine Paints from Target in Pond). The best thing is, the table is so much more functional. The kids can spread out coloring, or snacks, or a board game, and we can hide remotes in the drawer. The ottoman moved to the playroom.

These were all pretty small changes. I’d say I spent about $70 overall for paint, stain, new hardware, and bins. The room feels cozier to us and much more functional for our family. I’m so thrilled with the process that I’m going to try the same method to spruce up our bedroom.

The main takeaway is that you can create more of an impact with larger pieces than lots of small clutter, and to try and remove everything from the room and bring back only what you love. For the bedroom, I’m planning to try and do it for free, since we’re trying to save all our extra money for a house. 

Project 365 - One year until buying a house

Day 1

I am back from another blogging hiatus (that was a year long.. how did that happen??), this time with a big project in mind. Things have been changing pretty dramatically in our local housing market. We’re very close to no longer being underwater on our condo. It’s taken us nine years to get to this point, and as you know, it’s been a roller coaster. I’ve fallen in and out and back in love with our condo more times than I can count. But as we are seeing light at the end of the tunnel, something has hit me. We’re going to be leaving here someday, sooner rather than later it seems. In many ways, I am really excited and motivated, and in other ways I am uncertain and scared. This has been our home for almost ten years, and it’s been a great little home. It’s where we brought both of our boys home from the hospital, where we learned to become parents to these wonderful little guys. It’s where we’ve hosted parties, had struggles, played, made memories. And as much as I’ve moaned and groaned about being stuck here, and lamented the struggles of raising a family in a condo, I am going to miss these days… probably more than I’m even aware of.

It probably wouldn’t be completely impossible to buy a single family house now, but we are going to be in a better position next year. M and I have had many conversations over the last few weeks about our “plan,” and today, while on a sunny spring walk, I had an idea. What if I set a goal that exactly one year from today, on May 1, 2016, we will be preapproved for a mortgage and be shopping for our new home? And what if I blogged every day about this process – about saving up for a down payment, about readying our condo for its next inhabitants, about my excitement over this next chapter of our lives, and my sadness about the end of this chapter? It would be a neat way to not only motivate me to keep saving and keep getting ready to buy a house, but it would also be a good way to chronicle our last year in the condo.

So, I’m going to jump right in and get started!

They say that a goal is a dream with a deadline. My goal is to be preapproved to buy a house by May, 1, 2016. My other goal is to make the most of our last year in the condo, and practice gratitude. Experts say that the best way to achieve a goal is to set actionable, specific tasks. I think the best way to achieve my goal is to create a handful of smaller monthly goals. Here are the tasks I plan to achieve in the month of May:

• Up the amount we are saving monthly. I’ve already changed our automatic savings plan, and the first larger savings payment comes out today. Right now, we are 7.5% of the way to our down payment goal. It is NOT much. But I look forward to watching this number grow.
• Stick to our budget and live within our means. This one is a bit vague, but this month, I am setting our goal to no eating out for the first two weeks of the month, and only eating out once per week after that until the end of May. I will also stay out of stores during lunch time by walking instead.
• Talk to our condo association about the possibility of renting out our condo to family. They are very vague in the bylaws and the actions of the association on rentals. Basically, it is subject to approval. I want to know what our options will be next year. But I’m also really conflict-adverse, and despite being on the board (I know!), I really don’t want to deal with the association. I might make M do this one.
• Look into ways to earn extra income. M has a few freelance gigs going, and I am going to look into taking on a few writing jobs.
• Declutter our master bedroom closet and “quiet” our master bedroom. I’ll go into this “quieting” business later, but basically as an early birthday present this year, I signed up and took the Nester’s Cozy Minimalist decorating course. I totally loved it, and we really made some nice changes to our living room as a result of the class. I loved it so much, I’m going to go through the same process with our master bedroom. I don’t want to fall into the trap of thinking that because we plan to move in “only” a year we shouldn’t work on our space. If we try to sell the condo, we will want it to be looking its best. And it’s always a good idea to pare things down before moving!
• Host family and friends at our condo. In May we’ll be hosting a family dinner, my son’s 6^th birthday party, and an informal gathering of friends for a BBQ. This one should be fun and easy to achieve!

I can’t even tell you how excited I am writing this all down and getting started on this project. It’s going to make a process that could be a little bit emotional and stressful a bit easier on me. Tomorrow I’ll share my progress so far and talk more about my decluttering plans.

Project Recap

So I didn’t blog for almost three whole years. That’s sort of astounding to me, because it doesn't feel at all like it was that long. Time flies so amazingly fast. Obviously a lot happened personally, but we did do some tweaks to our house as well. Here’s what’s changed.

Please excuse the horrendous mish-mash of photos. I took some of these last night, while the kids slept. Others I grabbed off of Facebook from when we first completed different projects. It's really hard when the only time I have to work on this blog is when the kids are asleep!

Playroom

I didn't clean this up much. This is after the kids have gone to bed, but before spring decluttering.

The blue chair that we reupholstered here didn’t hold up to the cats or kids. We passed it along on Craigslist to someone who was very excited about revinyling it, and bought ourselves a chair from Ikea. That also isn’t holding up well to the cats.

We swapped out the homemade train table with a regular train table. It’s not that the homemade one wasn’t adorable or didn’t hold up, but it wasn’t big enough for the more elaborate tracks S wanted to make. So we got a larger surface that’s more conducive to playing, even if it’s not quite as cute.

We ditched the Ikea rug. M never liked it, and I finally had to admit he was right. It wasn’t good in the space for a variety of reasons.

We added more baskets and bins for storage, and a whole heck of a lot more toys.

Oh, we also swapped out the light fixture for a flush mount fixture, so M would stop banging his head into the chandelier. The chandelier moved to the kitchen.

Kitchen

We made one of our biggest improvements to the kitchen: we put in a back splash. Isn’t it gorgeous? I love the white subway tile so much. We went with an accent tile in the center as well, to harken back to our original concept for this kitchen - we’d always wanted black and white checked floors. I’m glad we went with the wood laminate instead, though, as I really think the black and white floors would be too busy and juvenile.

Oh, we also swapped out our old table for my inlaw’s oak pedestal table. I like the more solid feeling of it, although with a high chair it feels a little cramped in the breakfast nook.

Living room

Not much has changed here. A new lamp, new pillows, and a couple new throws have been added to the mix. I might swap out the fluffy white pillows and all the cable knits in the spring, though. These feel awfully wintry to me.

Instagram filters make even my living room look hipster.

I’m also attempting not to kill this adorable succulent.

Laundry Room

I never blogged about this laundry room before, but we got a new furnace! And it’s not avocado green! Spending such a huge chunk of change on something completely un-fun prompted us to try and organize the chaos in this yucky little room. We got some wire shelf organizers to corral cleaning products, some hooks to hang paper and plastic bags, the ironing board, and spring-hooks to hang up all the mops and brooms. 

Oh! And I also found a great idea on Pinterest. I hung up one of those cheap $1 plastic bag holders from Ikea on the wall and am using it to store wrapping paper. 

It's still not super pretty, but it is a little more organized and functional. I will blog about this room in more detail once I'm done fixing it up a bit. 

Organizing makes me want to clean!

This photo makes me want to get a cuter ironing
board cover, even though I never iron.

Hallway

My last post was about the gallery wall. We still love it, and still add to it often. Here’s what it looks like now.

On the other side of this narrow hall, we swapped out the bifold, dark wood doors, for a curtain. When we went to Ikea last week with this project in mind, I immediately began to scope out the white curtains. But M wanted something with color. I’ve been leaning more toward neutrals for a while now, but he still really likes bold color. So, on this one, I gave in. It’s growing on me.  Another post will outline this closet and what we’re using it for soon.

Boys’ Room

Obviously, our biggest change in this room is that we added another person! To accommodate him, we moved S to an Ikea Kura bed (that eventually both kids will sleep in) and turned the toddler bed back into a crib. 

Then, we took down the doors to their closet and made a little book nook and storage area. I seriously love it. I don’t know what it is about closet doors, but I don’t like them! Once I take the doors down to a closet, suddenly, the room opens up and things seem so much cleaner and easier to organize. The upper shelves are a great place to store bins of out of season clothes and S's outgrown clothes for M to grow into. And with the amount of books these two have, we needed an additional bookcase.

This photo is from before M arrived. We decided this arrangement of the crib didn't work. Updated photos when I have a moment when they are awake. 

Our Room

Perhaps this was one of our biggest changes? After a lot of back and forth, we finally decided to repaint the master bedroom. The orange just was not doing it for me anymore. I wanted something airier and lighter. I obsessed over this room on ApartmentTherapy for months, and grabbed a sample pot of the color featured, Benjamin Moore Harbor Gray. I put it on the walls, and it looked nothing at all like the photo. After grabbing billions of gray/blue paint chips, my friend pulled up the Benjamin Moore website and the AT inspiration photo side-by-side and in five minutes picked the perfect color: Benjamin Moore Iced Slate. I wanted something that was gray with a strong hint of blue, and this was perfect. In some light it is a true gray, in others very much a pale blue, and other times looks a little periwinkle. It looks fabulous with the white trim and cream comforter, curtains, and book wreath. The whole room is definitely more traditional and maybe even a little country, but it is soothing and more grown up, and I just love it.

Master Bathroom

Once we repainted the bedroom, I decided we needed to repaint the master bath to better coordinate. It was once painted a tan called “Puppy Paws.” Now it is painted Sherwin Williams “Sensible Hue.” If there’s a better metaphor for how my taste has grown up and calmed down since we first bought this condo in our mid-twenties, I’m not sure what it is. The Sensible Hue has a little more green added to it. I basically wanted the green counterpart to the blue bedroom - something gray with a hint of green. It’s a touch darker than I originally wanted, but I actually got this paint for $5 as a mistint, and the guy at Sherwin Williams was awesome, so I won’t complain. We also bought a framed mirror for this room, and we repainted the grout in our shower. This room looks way less builder basic than it did last year, and while I still would love to gut it, it’s a much more pleasant place to be.

Two Kids in One Condo

So, the biggest thing that has changed since I last kept this blog is that we have another kid! It’s weird for me to look back at my old posts, because S was so little... he was about the same age as our new little one, M is now! Now instead of this blog being the story of a couple raising our toddler in a condo, it’s about us living with two busy boys, ages 1 and almost 5 in a condo.

We didn’t let our housing situation affect our family planning. Originally, we always thought that the condo would be where we lived as young newlyweds, and then we’d trade up when we decided to start family. But then the market tanked in 2008, just when we were starting to think about kids. So, we decided that while perhaps not how we’d originally planned, the condo would be a lovely place to have a baby. Then maybe we could move when he was a preschooler, we told ourselves, before having our second child. You know the saying: life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. The whole moving thing just kept getting put off and put off. We’re still underwater, we’ve had more than a few financial setbacks that kept us from saving for another down payment, and maybe to some extent inertia kicked in. But we still wanted another child, so when the timing was right with everything else, we went for it.

It might not be how we planned it, but we are so happy with how it’s turning out. M is such a funny little guy. He was a mellow baby, and then suddenly got his sea legs and started tearing around the house at only 9 months old. Now he’s a little over a year and doing all those super cute young toddler things - babbling with inflection and purpose, following simple directions, pointing at everything, dancing, giving hugs and kisses. S has turned into quite the big brother as well. While he is sometimes annoyed at M for taking his toys, it seems like their favorite thing to do is wrestle around and give each other “love attacks” like two rambunctious puppies. It’s pretty fantastic.

This little starter home of ours has stretched to accommodate our now-nuclear family as best it can. I can’t say it’s been entirely easy­­–some things are awesome about small space living with two kids and some things less so. But here are some thoughts about how it’s working out for us so far:

Sharing a room actually made sleep better. My number one fear when contemplating living in this small, two bedroom condo with two kids was how were we ever going to get any sleep? We had M in our room in a Pack n’ Play bassinet until he was 5 months old. Once he started sitting up, we knew it was time to move him into the crib in what was to become the boys’ shared bedroom. But I was a little terrified. S has always been a bit of a night owl, preferring to bring toys to bed to play with, to sing songs, to call out to Mommy and Daddy for some more water or a snack. Was he going to wake the baby? And of course M was still getting up many times a night at that stage. Would the baby wake up S? But, for better or worse, we decided to go for it, and it has been so wonderful. S realized he needed to actually be quiet at night, so a lot of that nighttime silliness just stopped. It was kind of like magic. Now he’s realized that he can grab the baby monitor to “page us” when he wants something, but still: he’s whispering, he’s being respectful of M’s sleep, and he’s now falling asleep more easily. And M’s sleep improved a little bit when we moved him to the crib as well. It was great getting our bedroom back, and there’s something very sweet and almost old fashioned about the two of them sleeping peacefully together in their shared room.

Toys. So many toys.This is where we are struggling. I look back at this post of our playroom when we first converted it from a dining room, and I don’t know whether to laugh or weep. There were hardly any toys! So much open space! We still stored our glassware on the Expedit! The toys are taking over. The whole Expedit is devoted to toys, and we still don’t have enough room. There are toys spilling out from behind the leather chair. There are toys under the train table. There are toys in the adjacent bookshelf. There’s a toy closet in our hallway. There are toys in the boys’ room. I thought we had it under control, we had just done a huge toy purge in the fall, but lately I feel completely overtaken by toys (Christmas with two kids and a first birthday will do that I suppose).  I’m trying to get a system that will allow the kids to help clean up more easily on their own, and that will keep my sanity intact. Toy storage is definitely a work in progress. One thing I keep reminding myself of is that it could always be worse. I think overall, people realize our space limitations and don’t give us as many toys.

Condos can actually be great with small children. Hands down the best part of condo living for me is not having to shovel snow. Winter of 2012/2013 was snowy, and we had a teeny tiny newborn. It was so nice getting to hibernate inside and not worry about who was going to go clear the driveway and sidewalk while we were exhausted with a new baby. This year it has been bitterly cold and S’s first year of preschool has brought home many illnesses. It’s been nice to just let someone else deal with the snow when we’re too busy or sick or tired. And while the thing I personally hate most about condo living is not having my own yard, last year, S, M, and I spent a ton of time outside – using sidewalk chalk on our driveway, exploring the yard behind our condo buildings, and playing with the neighbor kids on our nice, safe cul de sac. I think I finally just embraced our house, and used the outdoor space we do have, instead of wishing for private outdoor space we don’t.

Safety and peace of mind. This might not apply to everyone living in a condo, but ours is all one level. That means no stairs to baby proof. This is a good thing for me, as kids and stairs freak me the heck out. The small size means the kids are always in ear shot, and I can get to them in a flash. I don’t worry as much about their safety in our house because I’ve been able to baby proof (cabinet locks and furniture straps) and then let them explore without having to hover as much. I may need to hover a little more though, judging from how many things M has dunked in the toilet lately...

Small spaces=more time. Living in a small house has its advantages. Mainly, what I lack in space I make up for in time. It doesn’t take as much time to clean up our small space. I can vacuum nearly the whole house from one outlet. We can clean it from top to bottom in a couple of hours. My husband likes to tease me that it can go from being what I call a “disaster” to clean and cozy in 20 minutes. And, as I mentioned before, not having to spend time on outdoor maintenance means we can spend more time playing with these little guys.

I Can't Have a House Blog

This phrase runs through my mind fairly often, mostly when the house is messy or a project didn’t turn out like I’d hoped, or I read critiques of other bloggers, who have way nicer homes than I do.

“I can’t have a house blog. Just look at that drip of paint on the tile.”

“I can’t have a house blog. Look at how many toys are shoved behind the chair.”

“I can’t have a house blog. Look at this shitty hem I just sewed into these curtains. That’s it, I’m using some hem tape.”

“I can’t have a house blog. My house is nothing special.”

My insecurity is probably the main reason I stopped blogging. There are so many DIY and decorating blogs out there, why would anyone want to read this one? I need to get over it. Maybe no one will read this blog, and that’s OK. Maybe someone will read this blog and think it sucks. That’s OK too. There are no rules when it comes to blogging, so who says I can’t have a house blog?

There are so many things I want to say about houses, the idea of home, my home, etc.

I think where I really got thrown off last time around was that I was trying to be something I was not. I was trying to post room re-dos and inspirational DIY projects, and sometimes I would succeed and other times I would fail, and those failures always made me question whether I should continue blogging. But that’s not all this blog is to me, or all I ever thought it would be when I started it. I wanted to explore small space living and its joys and challenges–not just those how to posts about making our living space work better for us, but also how I feel about being stuck in a bad investment, how I envy those who have bigger houses, how I get over these bad feelings and make our house into a home.

There’s more to home than perfectly styled bookcases and on-trend colors. There’s the story behind decorating choices, the interactions we all have when setting up and living in our houses. There’s the children we raise in a house and how they feel about it. The meals we cook, the people we host, the memories we make.

So yeah, my house isn’t really that special when it comes to its design. But I don’t care. I want to write about it anyway.