Tuesday, June 9, 2015


It's hard when you're feeling pretty good about something, and someone takes the wind out of your sails. It happened to me at work a couple of weeks ago, and then happened again in a situation relating to our home and social life. A friend is working with a contractor who has worked on our condo development, who told her some gossipy details and "horror stories" that made it seem like we need to move pronto. Honestly, I hated hearing it, because the way the condo board handles the shared spaces of the building is outside of my control. And it felt like an exaggeration too. I'm not burying my head in the sand; there are definitely some problems with the buildings, particularly one of them. But the building not being "promising" was just a weird thing for this person to say, and honestly, for my friend to relay to us.

I've heard an awesome saying recently that has totally influenced the way I deal with people. It says to stop and THINK: is this True? Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? And is it Kind? If  not, chances are, you probably shouldn't say it.

This guideline made me question a lot of the things I read online. I just don't get the same schadenfreude judgy pleasure from reading snark boards as I once did. Mostly they just seem kind of mean now, certainly not necessary or kind. And I'm having trouble gossiping with friends, or discussing work situations with coworkers now too. Am I just getting old? I just feel more empathetic these days to other people's situations, and am realizing that the way people live their lives must be right for them, even if I might make another choice.

I feel good about these changes in myself, but I admit that I still don't have a very thick skin myself when it comes to the judgment of others. I guess that's something I still need to work on.

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